All the horrors of the internet in one convenient spot!

Worst. Website. Ever.

Surprisingly, it's safe for work.

The atonal violin music at first is not there to prove it's a horrible website. It actually becomes music.

Been trying to sleep for about 4 hours now. No such luck, though. Go figure.

First watch this.

Then watch this.

Dream #1) I'm on a space cruise / evil villain scientific lab base. While crawling around some air ducts I find a human with a bull dog's head and figure something bad is happening. The dream ends with me strangling Mick Jagger and flying off into space a la Superman because I was an "awesome republican".

Still trying to figure that one out.

Dream #2) I'm travelling around various spots in Texas unlocking old 1500s style mission churches from the inside by crawling into windows in their bell towers. I think I've been playing too much Assassin's Creed.

This is slightly NWS, but click on the "View in a room" for the funniest thing on the internet.

I have a new favorite website! (Potentially NWS)

You know, there are very few books I don't like, but Moby Dick is one of them. The guy just can't maintain a train of thought. He constantly goes from one topic to another, and a chapter that's about something might contain only two or three sentences about that topic, with everything else being a random thought that's almost entirely unrelated.

This will be a condensed summary of 4 pages of the book:
He always got on ships as a normal sailor. He didn't want to be a cook, although he doesn't have anything against cooks, he just doesn't want to boil chickens. Not that there's anything bad against boiled chickens when you season them correctly, he just...

And so on and so forth for the entire fucking book. Don't get me wrong, the story is nice, and there are ton of memorable quotes and characters. But I could easily trim this down to 250 pages without losing anything.

Man that was a weird dream.

I was part of a group of 5 people. We were trying to steal the Constitution, kidnap the Pope, and steal this music book that was never allowed to be copied or some jazz. Not for money. Just to prove we could.

Ok, so yesterday I made a comment referring to a girl as "our little chemo patient" as a joke because she wears a bandana all the time. The first time I saw her, she had hair.

Well it turns out she really did go through chemo and such since the age of 6. That hair was a wig. Woops. While she was pretty cool about it, I still felt like a class 1 jerk all night.

I'm off to a summer camp for 3 months. Later folks.

Man, I just sneezed really hard in an awkward direction and tore a tendon in my neck. I looked in a mirror and I can actually see the thing moving around freely at the bottom of my neck. It'd be kind of cool if it didn't hurt so much.

Why do people make this crap?! (NSFW)

So I had a dream that one of my friends was getting raped last night. This causes me to wake up around 3:30, bloody god damn furious until I realize it's just a dream. Only my heart's still pounding and I'm still looking for something to kill. Didn't get back to sleep until 6:30. Damn dreams.

My cat got a birthday card from the vet's office. Not a "you have an appointment" not "vaccinations are due". A birthday card.

I want to hurt people, some days.

Man I had a weird dream last night. I was with one of my friends and we were trying to transport this frozen whale by flipping it head over tail (which is easier than just rolling it in the land of dreams), only we dropped it in this tiny pond. The fact that the whale was bigger than the pond but still managed to swim around in it just fine isn't the point. But what that point is exactly, I don't know.

So let's see, in the last 2 days I have:
1) Had my computer's motherboard deep six itself. (Meaning full wipe + reinstall, just 3 months after the old one)
2) Had my car break down. It's a problem somewhere in the electrical system, which I don't have the tools to fix.
3) Had a metric ton (literally) of dirt dropped into my front yard, which I have to move to my backyard, and then level it out, by myself.
4) Developed 7 blisters walking to a place to fax an application, only to find that it had been sold and was now a nail salon. Making it the 3rd nail salon in that shopping center. Seriously, what the hell is up with nail salons? They're like the cancer of shopping malls. No one wants them there, but you can't get rid of them, and they'll eventually strangle the life out of your shopping districts.

At least my psoriasis is clearing up. Not sure whether it's due to all the sun or because I stopped drinking soft drinks, but I won't complain (about that, anyway).

And for anyone in Corpus, you should totally check out Papa Murphy's pizza off of Saratoga between Everhart and Staples. You have to bake it yourself, but it's like $4 for a large pizza, and when they say "feeds 2-3" they mean "stuffs 2-3 to bursting".

Well now who am I going to joke about wanting to have sex with?

...wait a minute. I don't have to stop...